Mistakes

I make mistakes, and I will always make mistakes because I am a mistake. It cannot be said any other way. And these days there aren't many people who would tell me otherwise.

The biggest mistakes of my life, I don't have the courage to write them down for people to read.

May 21st, 2005. I made a mistake and it hurt another life. I messed up another persons life. I turned that person cold. And I did it because I was afraid of commitment. But I kept making the same mistake over and over and over again with this person. Until that person ended our friendship. But when it came to the end, I was not afraid to commit anymore, but I lost that person. I can't live anymore. I'm back to obsession. I'm back in limbo. And it is my fault.

To this person, you know who you are,
My deepest pain, can you not see,
Everyday that I see you, I know how I feel,
I just want to be, accepted by you, can't you see?

This is how I felt.

I've been burning with this pain inside of me. But no longer.
I will change. I will change. I will change.
You will see, I know we can no longer can be,
But greater is he who now dwells in me, The Lord on High my solace shall be,

I've read what you said, in the past, if I could change them, we would never meet,
But know this now, I will love you eternally,

You remember her, Roni, you are now her companion in my heart. Do you know what that means?

You know how I felt for her.

-END-

My life has changed, I live only to serve the maker.
I wish I would've realised that so long ago
But indeed I'm a slow learner. Very slow.

Who am I today? A terrible sinner. But not unforgivable, so there will always be hope.

In Christ

Tristan D.